This article belongs to DanChan123.
Gameplay[]
At the beginning of the story at the Choosing ceremony, once you've chosen your kingdom, you choose your particular class.
Classes []
Warrior: Warriors are trained melee fighters, using all sorts of sports appliances and other things to fight enemies. They are fearless and move in to engage the enemy to deal fatal blows, and to withstand those of the enemy.
Ex) Stan Marsh
Ranger: Rangers are keen and skillful, and like to use weapons that deal damage from afar, without getting hurt. However, what they lack is a good defence.
Ex) Kenny McCormick
Thief: Thieves are very smart and intelligent, move at fast speeds, dodging attacks, hit pressure points to deal easy critical hits, and have the ability to steal weapons from stunned enemies, although they require time to fully defeat an opponent.
Ex) Craig Tucker
Rogue: Rogues are powerful, swift, and make excellent bounty hunters. Rogues don't follow the code. The fight either in small groups or solo. They deal moves the take down foes one by one. Although they have extremely high attack, they lack defense, so they try to take foes down as quick as possible. They have a high chance of evading inducement.
Ex) Token Black
Bard: Bards use the mighty power of art; music, martial arts, crafts, painting, and drawing, to defeat their enemies, involving sleep-inducing toons, musical instruments used for clobbering and playing music, and magical auras that can manipulate both teammates and foes. Bards are weak alone, but in a team, they prove to be extremely badass.
Ex) Jimmy Valmer
Barbarian: Barbarians are specifically used to as the heavy weapon for beating up people. Barbarians, are ruthless, love bashing, and pack powerful punches, and are easily immune to petty attacks. They carry out attacks able to damage multiple opponents at once. However, Barbarians are highly refractory, and take a while to charge up mana.
Ex) Butters Stotch
Mage: Mages love pulling off pranks, and using dark magic and awkward human tricks to their might. Handheld weapons are usually pranking utensils and objects from magic kits, but they do use certain sorts of "magic". This includes explosive flatulence (throwing a match on the ground then farting), metal attraction (magnetic gloves), shocking touch (rubbing feet on ground to gain electricity), and etc. Weak to Jew.
Ex) Eric Cartman (Although he says he's a Wizard, which is "way more badass than a mage")
Jew: Jews, are anti-dark magic. They devote themselves to Judaism, and struggle to overcome the evils of the outside world. They are calm, powerful at spirit, and trust no mortal. They can also heal teammates (Usually by First Aid). As their health goes down, their power goes up. Its best to take them out quickly and swiftly.
Ex) Kyle Broflovski
Alchemist: The Alchemist is smart, secretive, and carries many secret manipulative weapons and spells. Alchemists can rapidly change the "rules" in battle by using spells launched by potions (In real life, its drugs), and seem to change things just as you are about to pull a victory, making them very tricky and annoying opponents.
Ex) Tweek Tweak
South Park: War of the Stick
South Park: War of the Stick, is the second installment of the Stick of Truth series of South Park videogames, based off the satirical, animated television series by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. The game follows events after South Park: The Stick of Truth.
Background[]
In the events of The Stick of Truth, the fourth grader boys of South Park, Colorado create a live-action, high-fantasy-themed RPG, involving the objective to capture the Stick of Truth for their faction, and sacred relic that "grants the owner the ability to rule the universe." There are two main factions; the Human KKK (The Kingdom of Kupa Keep), whom control the land of Zarnion, and the Drow Elves of the Elven Kingdom, whom control the land of Larnion. The two factions are constantly at war, stealing the Stick from each other over and over.
Meanwhile, a New Kid has moved with his parents to South Park to escape his forgotten past. He quickly allies with Butters, Princess Kenny and their leader Cartman. The New Kid is nicknamed "Douchebag"; he is introduced to the coveted Stick of Truth. Shortly thereafter, the elves attack Kupa Keep and take the Stick. With the help of Cartman's best warriors, Douchebag recovers the Stick from Jimmy. Cartman banishes Clyde from the group for failing to defend the Stick from the elves. That night, Douchebag and several town residents are abducted by aliens. Douchebag escapes his confinement with the help of Stan's father Randy and crashes the alien ship into the town's mall.
By morning, the UFO crash site has been sealed off by the government, who has put out a cover-story that claims a Taco Bell is being built. Douchebag visits Kupa Keep and learns that the Stick has again been stolen by the elves. Cartman and Kyle task Douchebag with recruiting the Goth kids for their respective sides, each claiming that the other has the Stick. Randy agrees to help Douchebag recruit the Goths after Douchebag infiltrates the crash site and discovers that government agents are plotting to blow up the town in order to destroy an alien goo released from the ship. The goo turns living creatures into Nazi Zombies; an infected person escapes government containment, unleashing the virus on South Park.
That night, Cartman or Kyle (dependent on which character the player chooses to follow) leads his side against the other at the school. Here, the children learn that Clyde stole the Stick as revenge for his banishment. Clyde rallies defectors from the humans and elves, and uses the alien goo to create an army of Nazi Zombies. The humans and elves join together to oppose Clyde but there are too few to fight him. Later, Gnomes steal Douchebag's underpants and he gains the ability to change size at will.
Out of desperation, Douchebag is told to invite the girls to play. They agree to join after Douchebag infiltrates an abortion clinic and travels across Canada to discover which of their friends is spreading gossip. Flanked by the girls, kindergarten pirates, and Star Trek role-players, the humans and elves attack Clyde's dark tower. Randy arrives and reveals that the government agents have planted a nuclear device in Mr. Slave's anus to blow up South Park, forcing Douchebag to shrink and enter Mr. Slave to disarm the bomb.[3] Douchebag finally confronts Clyde and is forced to fight a resurrected Nazi Zombie Chef; Chef is defeated. Clyde decides he is not playing any more and Cartman kicks him from the tower.
The government agents arrive, revealing that Douchebag went into hiding to escape them because of his ability to make friends on social networks such as Facebook, which the government wanted to use for its own ends. Learning of the Stick's supposed power, the chief agent takes it and bargains with Douchebag to help him use it. Douchebag refuses but Princess Kenny betrays the group, uses the Stick to fight them and infects himself with the Nazi Zombie virus. Unable to defeat Nazi Zombie Princess Kenny, Cartman tells Douchebag to break their sacred rule by farting on Kenny's balls, which he does. The resulting explosion defeats Kenny and cures the town of the Nazi Zombie virus. In the epilogue as South Park is rebuilt, the group retrieves the Stick of Truth; they decide its power is too great for any person to hold and throw it into Stark's Pond.
Synopsis[]
In War of the Stick, the kids have resumed their roleplaying, and the game has greatly imprved, but Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny, start to become bored since "there isn't much atrocious violence anymore." Meanwhile, South Park has become 10% more poverish than before. The South Park city government is blamed for spending 95% of the apology money the government gave them from the "UFO ordeal," on charity, roughly a couple billion dollars. They also spent the remainder 5% on building a nice surburban extension of South Park.
North of South Park is North Park, smaller than its sister town; a village, and much more poverish. But because it is poor, much of its citizens rely on charity. And so, the billions of dollars all go to the poor citizens of North Park. So, using their money, they got better homes, and greatly improved their village. Soon, they opened a ski resort and built a Park County Park. Eventually, rich people all came over to live in North Park, particularly those rich black kids whom went to "South Park: the New Aspen".
Intro[]
South Park is getting worse each day, and its people are getting low on resource rations. The Council, made up of kids like Cartman, Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Clyde, Kimmy, Token, Tweak, and various others, decide that their going to have to salvage "roleplaying sh*t" in North Park, because they won't be able to continue the game without them. They end up hitting North Park kids' turf, and the North Park kids aren't happy about it, and are agressive and hostile. Kicked out of North Park, the South Park kids are "becoming doomed." Cartman explains this story through a fantastical perspective.
Prologue[]
In a flashback, a celebrity tourist group from New Jersey is touring the River in Beaverton, a neighbor town of South Park and home to the world's largest beaver dam. Two Jersey teenage girls are on a river raft down a creek.
Meanwhile, a silhouette of Cartman is seen throwing the Stick of Truth into Stark's Pond. It lies at the bottom of the Pond, in which a crayfish picks it up and crawls out of the water with it. A Jakovasaur happens upon the stick, taking it, and running through the wilderness. The Jakovsaur trips, and the Stick flies into a sewage, and the Stick chronogically ends up flowing into the creek in which the Jersey girls are rowing down.
One of the girls is on her phone trying to get some WiFi, while the other is rowing and valley-girl-chatting about Jersey things. They row, until the chatting girl sees something in the water. She grabs it, and it turns out to be the Stick of Truth. She is "cursed by the dark powers" the Stick holds. The first girl (the one with the phone) wants the Stick, but the second won't give it to her. So they get into a stereotypical Jersey fight, and the second girl is killed by the first, drowned in the water. The first girl gains the Stick and is cursed by its power. The first girl wanders the forest, and, being infected by the curse, becomes a short, shriveled up, evil creature (based off of Gollum from LOTR). Her allergies take hold of her, and she makes weird, sneezing noises that sound like she's saying"Snooki." So She names herself Snooki, and wanders into South Park, whereas she dwells in the basement of Skeeter's Bar and Cocktails.
Meanwhile, Mayor McDaniels is called into a meeting with government officials in South Park, trying to improve the failing economic situation of South Park. McDaniels leads the officials into a secret chamber under City Hall with her secret key. She chants "open sesame", and their is a torchlit cave with Native American carvings on the walls. There is a desk and a coffin at the far corner of the chamber; the grave of Richard Park, a Mormon pioneer and blacksmith who originally aimed to join the other Mormons in Utah. McDaniels tells them that she had been reading Richard Park's diary, and found an entry which stated that Park had discovered a cache of 24-karat gold possessed by the Indians which the Nephites have originally worth a billion dollars. He left the gold there because it was sacred Nephite land, as he was a devoted Mormon. The treasure is found in a cave underneath an Indian burial ground. The door of the cave must be opened to access the treasure; any other way will destroy the treasure. To open it, a 13-inch, uncut stick from a holy tree descended from those planted by the Nephites, doused in Jakovasaur piss (Stark's Pond is where Jakovasaurs do their business; it is revealed that Jakovasaurs were creatures brought over by the Nephites), must be lit on fire as a torch to burn the door down, as no other fire but such holy fire can burn it down. All the officials think the idea of the treasure is gay, but they do it anyway since they are desperate.
Story[]
In the present, you, the new kid, moves into the new surburban extension of South Park, and recieves an invitation to "The Choosing" from Cartman Brah the Fat(ass), one of the four great Warlocks and Council Member.
You take a taxi to the Hilton hotel, where the ceremony takes place. On the Council are warlocks, Wizard Cartman Brah the Fat(ass), Queen Kenny, Elvenking Kyle, and Lord Stan. The Choosing ceremony is when a kid gets to pick his class and join one of the warlocks and his(/her) kingdom. The truth is, the game is getting boring and so the kids just decided to have a giant party for this one New Kid out of boredom.
The kingdom is chosen first. After the class is chosen, the New Kid must be given a name. The New Kid tries to tell them his real name, but the Council members tell to "shut the f*** up", and they plan out a name. Kyle wants to call him Cockface, Cartman wants to call him Dipshit, and Stan wants to call him Asswipe. Kenny tries to say something but he is ignored. Kenny, in anger, climbs on his chair to send his message, but he trips, falling off the stage. While on the ground, a chandelier on the ceiling falls down, crushing and killing Kenny. Kyle yells, "they killed Kenny! You bastards!"
Stan gets an idea, telling Kyle to repeat what he just said, he decides to call the New Kid, "Bastard." Everybody agrees. Right before they can formerly name the New Kid, Bastard, the hotel service comes in, asking for any sort of assistance. Cartman, annoyed, tells them to "get the fuck out", but then he tells them to come back in and clean up Kenny's body, which they do.
The New Kid is formally called "Bastard". While everyone cheers, Kenny comes out from the door and sits back on his chair.